never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I love you. Go after that dick
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
