dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
