I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize