i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize