your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
