I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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