Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
