just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
