he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
not ubering you a puppy
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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