I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
