Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
