we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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