I feel great
I just peed on a car
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
