I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
birth control should be required to get into college
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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