Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
