i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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