Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
