Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize