where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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