just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Barsexuality is the new black.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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