Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
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