He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
