Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
