Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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