I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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