Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got so high we made milksteak
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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