she was so not down for the gang bang
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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