Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
