I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
