How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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