Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My vagina just recognized that song.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
