And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
