Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
