lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
