It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
