I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
