Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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