Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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