it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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