Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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