ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
