Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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