I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
