hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
