Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Please don't give away my fajitas
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
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