She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
