i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
