Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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