we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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