He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
