So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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