I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
