My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Swine flu is the new snow day.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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