I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
