Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
