My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.