i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
