Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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