At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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