Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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