I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Randomize