Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
