He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
if only i could text you this smell
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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