I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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