Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
