i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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