You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
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